4 Ways to Honor Your Parents - No Matter Your Age
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” -Ephesians 6:1-4
Most of us are very familiar with this verse. Parents globally remind children of this premise. Kids need the guidance of parents to help them to make wise decisions, learn good habits, and to have examples to pattern after.
But what about adults? Do adults still need to honor their parents? We don’t need their input into our decisions daily like we did as kids. We don’t need their permission for things. We don’t rely on their financial stability for our survival. Our need for them changes as we get older. BUT, does the command to honor them change also?
No.
There are no qualifiers to this verse’s instruction. There is no time limit, or conditional phrasing. There is no expiration. “Children, obey…”. “Honor your father and mother…”.
Honor never stops honoring. Why? Honor is a Verb. It’s something you do, but it’s also a present imperative active verb, meaning it’s a command that does not stop. There is no age that we stop being our parent’s child. It’s imperative which means it’s not a suggestion. There is no “if they deserve it” or “if they are model parents”. It’s also in the PRESENT tense meaning there is no expiration date on honoring your parents.
Nowhere do we see the Bible say, “ok kids, once you’re 30, you can stop honoring dear old Dad” or “once your parents are 70 then you can quit honoring them”. Nope. There is no end date on this. Honor. Period.
“Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.” -1 Peter 2:17
The emperor? What? Is that a typo? Who was Peter talking about?
Peter was referring to the emperor of the time, whose name was ironically Nero. Sounds pretty similar to “neuro” or “neurotic”, doesn’t it? The emperor Nero could have fit that description, for sure. Most of us can relate to having someone in our sphere that we don’t understand or agree with. Anyone got one of these?
an unrealistic boss
a neurotic ex
impossible in-laws
the President you voted for or did not vote for
Yup. We could all name a few of these in our lives. So, surely Peter wasn’t referring to THEM when he wrote “honor everyone”, right?
Wrong. Again, no qualifiers or conditions in this verse either. No “if’s”. No “when’s”. Just honor. Honor is offered, not earned. That goes for bosses, exes, in-laws, government officials, AND PARENTS. Honor everyone.
Like Peter, we are to honor the position. You can honor the position without agreeing with the person.
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” -Romans 12:10
You can honor and disagree at the same time.
You can honor and not be in relationship at the same time.
You can honor from a distance (and some of you should).
So how do we honor our parents and everyone else? Here are 4 basics:
Be generous. This doesn’t just mean financially. Be generous with your time, your resources, your encouragement, your self. Give freely. Assume the best. With everyone.
Be available. Be there, and BE THERE. Be emotionally invested in the relationships in your life. Don't avoid, dismiss, or run away from connection with others. Be present. With everyone.
Be patient. Be willing to wait, pause, stick with it, and remain calm. Be persevering. With everyone.
Be humble. Make pride take a back seat. Honor others above yourself. With everyone.
Honoring our parents and others is not just something that we do and check off our list. It is an ongoing, never-ending, continual process.
So, what does that look like for you to put into action today?