4 Ways Marriage is Like Canoeing
Anyone who knows me well knows that every year around this time I retreat to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area in Northern Minnesota for an annual canoe trip with some of my close friends. The BWCA borders Canada, and is over 1 million acres in size containing 1,100 lakes. When you hear the phrase “off the grid”, this is it.
So, I’ve spent the last week on the waters, and contemplating the teamwork involved with navigating a trip like this. It looks a lot like a marriage relationship when you really think about it. Canoeing, like marriage, is hard work, and it takes effort from all those in the boat. You need each other, and you need to work together to get to your destination.
So, how is marriage like canoeing, you ask? Here are 4 ways:
You’re in the canoe/marriage together. You have be intentional to work together. Day 5 of our guys trip looks very different than Day 1 did, because we’ve learned to work together well as a team. If you paddle in opposite directions from one another - in a canoe, or in life - you won’t get anywhere except in circles. A canoe, and a marriage takes teamwork, and the ability to count on each other, share the load, and pay attention to one another in order to get where you want to go.
Communication is important. Particularly when life/waters are rough, you have to communicate with one another to stay on the same page. No one is a mind reader, so communication both ways helps you steer your boat and life to avoid obstacles or dangers together. At times, one person may need to lead and the other follow, like when the person in the front of the canoe can see things that the person in the back cannot. Just the word “rock” yelled from the person in the front of the boat can quickly send a clear message to everyone in the boat even if they can’t see the rock. Communicating clearly, respecting one another, trusting and listening to one another can help you navigate rough waters and enjoy smooth ones.
Small issues can become big problems if you don’t work together to avoid them. When canoeing, like in marriage, you have to watch out for rocks, debris or other obstacles hidden under the surface. Even a small rock, log or sometimes slow water can stall your boat, so it is important to try to steer around them, and work together to free your boat when you do get stuck. When a storm is approaching, you’ve got to decide together that it’s time to get off the water, now! Abandoning your boat is not an option.
There will be large rocks - or major life crises - that may leave marks on or damage your canoe. Most years, the outfitter we use gives us brand new canoes since we are some of the first to make the trek for the season. When we start out, the paint is pristine, the bottoms smooth and the insides dry and spotless. By the end of our trip, those canoes are no longer flawless. They have been tested, been out in the waters, been dragged and marred, but have endured. They have stood the test. They have delivered us to our destination. Sometimes obstacles are avoidable, but sometimes they are not. Marriage is the same. Life will bring difficulties that will leave their marks on the relationship, but remembering that no matter what comes, you are in your boat together - for life - will help you face the obstacles together and stay afloat.
So, my friends, head out on those waters. The adventure is amazing, and it is worth it!